The Dressing Room

The Dressing Room

SUMMARY KEYWORDS

underwear, dressing room, talking, underpants, dressing, work, buy, size, tongue, christening, speedo, feel, looked, fucking, pair, baked ziti, lose, workout clothes, panty lines, Happy, love, laughter

SPEAKERS

Luz Michelle, Debbie Nigro, charlie ponger

Hey everyone, welcome to the Offiical Seenagers. Debbie and I were just outside talking and it's like how many times a day do you call yourself?

curse yourself out stupid

bastards like,

God, Debbie, you fucking idiot. Yeah, you know, I really want to emphasize that lose. Are you an idiot?

Yeah. Every day every day, it could be anything I could drop a cop and I have this like anxious Hill and I'm like Jesus Christ. You couldn't just put the cup in the sink and has to be something.

I walk into my house going, seriously, Debbie? Yeah, you gotta be kidding me. Being You

00:39

at least once a day, Charlie, why you stupid son. No, good. Randy. Last time.

I showed you my tell you the size of my head. Yeah. How'd that happen? I was cleaning with Windex. I move something it fell through. Boom.

00:55

Yesterday, yesterday, this is what happened to me. You know, I hate my clothes, sometimes outside and I have that apparatus that you open up. I'm on the phone. And I'm, I'm talking and I go to open the thing up and it catches look at this black and blue. It catches catches my finger. And I'm like, I'm thinking to myself, and I kept doing it. I was like, motherfucker. I went but I am like, you stupid son of a bitch.

And then you know think What are you thinking about right? And I'll also say how many times you're gonna do this job? Yeah, many times yeah, the same

here you are again, everybody.

01:31

JERRY You are Yeah, and I talked to a guy that he goes What's the name of your show? Go seen it because perfect. Nobody times every morning I wake up and I'm like, What the fuck? The guy

the other day? Yeah.

So I had this weird side effect when COVID was called COVID tongue that's relaxed. Oh, and get up Alright, anyway. Then nobody heard about except the urgent care people four times and then the emergency rooms like oh yeah, so but anyway, I get over it three weeks I finally get a tongue that's working again and Dave says

02:03

to me thank God I could go wild with this new thing and

it's spicy thing and he goes he pulls it little teaspoon he goes here open up tastes like what is it? He said Just taste it I go well what is it he goes Come on. So I put in my mouth. Oh, you're fucking crazy. What is this? It was like some super super hot new thing. Yeah, I just got over the tongue now. So now I was not bright enough to save myself from myself. I should have said what? I'm not paying. Yeah.

02:32

When you have a tongue thing with the COVID

Oh yeah, I got this this NUS Novia thing the Whoa it's when you lose your smell. Oh ya know when you get to smell funky smell after some people get a funky taste and smell like a metallic thing with COVID I get that for two days. Oh my god that and then it went into this other thing but I don't wanna talk about that. Let's talk about let's talk about the friggin dressing room situation this oh god trust that happened to me. Well I have my my grandson's christening is coming up so I have to look appropriate. Right and I looked in my closet, my teenager closet and it looks like something's really gone wrong and so I need something lovely springy white, none of which I own and I go now to the dressing to the stores and if

03:20

you don't own women don't they have like

no everything is black. Yeah, and the christening is white. Okay, so you to a lot of black, a lot of black. So I go into the New York thing you know, it's the lint capital of the world. So I go into the stores I'm looking for everything light and pound piece of pizza and blue for something happy and everything that makes you look 50 pounds heavier. I already got a situation with the weight. Yeah, I don't have that youthful figure anymore. And I've been stuffing it in to some things Yeah. And now we I've lost my way. And I haven't been in a dressing room with bad lighting in a while. Everything that's not okay. It is a torture chamber.

04:04

With the dressing room what

the dressing rooms are us

04:06

in light fluorescent lights so you're paying along to PAL

varicose veins rolls all undergarments. And I keep putting these outfits on if I tell you the only place I might have blended in yeah was 3am in a Latin nightclub maybe Yeah, even they would have looked at me like I don't know. So I am struggling with this. This whole thing and I do think they should have something in a dressing room that makes you feel better about your music or

04:39

a bar different lighting.

Well yeah lighting warm

lining. Yeah more in line and maybe a mirror

04:44

that makes you look a little thinner.

Well they do they lie and you buy the shade. And you look worse when you go home because they hold you there. Oh of course. You know Yes, but I

really need a nice taken care of dressing room. Even if the output doesn't look good, right I don't feel bad about myself but if I'm on like Target in the dressing room, trying on a large that really fucking small, I'm spiraling. I'm spiraling.

Spiral lose. How about this? How about the size you thought you used to be? Oh gosh. You have to give into yeah remotely want to get out of there with anything guys go through that to you. They

really my husband doesn't feel shit. He was he doesn't for me. My husband has been the same size and the same shape for all the 12 years I've known for

05:35

him.

Yeah, it's a nightmare. Why is it a nightmare? All he does is this like 20 minute workout routine in the morning and at night and he's fit. Oh, drinks chocolate milk every night. Yeah, he loves cake. He loves cookies. He loves baked ziti like hey,

hey, hey, wait a minute. Oh, he's

imperfect? I know. I know.

Excuse me if you did something. 20 minutes in the morning and 20 minutes at night. You'd also be drinking chocolate milk Joe,

06:02

are you Why don't you do your work is his workout with you? Why don't you do now he will work out. Oh, wow. This person does he let you does he do you know his workout?

I always work out you do it? Because he says all I do is complain and make excuses to say it hurts. But I'll do it in my that's the thing. I'd be like you're holding the weight wrong. I'm like I'm not holding the weight wrong. I know what I'm doing. And it turns into this old thing. Argument. Yeah.

06:32

Go away and shake his head.

Yeah, then I'm like, say you care. You don't want me? Oh my god.

When this poor guy Charlie sizes, you? Will you buy a pair of pants in a bigger size than you think you are? Where you hold out and try and lose weight to get back to your believable size.

06:51

Oh, wait. Oh, wait to buy the pants until I'm like down back down. Like 3334

Will you do it? Well, you got a bigger size. Will you hold out and go home and try and

drink water? You will my closet ranges from small to extra x x s l really? I still I save some pregnancy stuff? Yeah, sure. Like a good hour. We're going to the town. Cool. Let me get my heart my tar.

And by the way, it's getting warmer out. That's a big bra.

07:26

So I'm talking to Patti boy last night, okay. And I said Pat, I just bought new underpants. Okay. And he goes, um, you did? Because yeah, Molly buys my underpants underwear. He said, I and I go, you know, I have I've had the same idea for 12 years. Right. Same pair. Yeah, the same pair, same pairs of underwear for weight the

brand or the actual pair, the actual pair? Possibly not normal.

07:56

I know. For guys. It's kind of normal, but we were laughing our asses off about Yeah, they had holes in them. The elastic wasn't working anymore. None of that stuff. I always watched them in bleach. So they're, you know, they're all white. So I you know, I was good. But I realized, you know, I really need some new underwear. You know, you're hungry with thing by you bought underwear. I guess you can buy a shirt like glue this shirt. It's got holes in it right now. Who are you? Yeah. And so and so. And Dave, you know who I work with? He's like, Do you own one collared shirt? Really? I'm like, yeah, it's a Brooks Brothers when you don't have to iron.

He knows which one it is. Yeah.

08:37

Powder Blue. is the one. Right So Pat was talking about he goes you know, I never Molly buys all my clothes for me. Right? Wow. Yeah. And I was like, Yeah, all right. I get that. You know,

so you had a woman in your life. She'd never let you get away with that. That for that long. No, I know. And by the way, lose. Look in your underwear drawer right? And you could see it in your head. Does it need to move on?

I do a clean out you do?

09:03

What do you do with your underwear?

I throw it out. Do I throw it out.

But I ordered new underwear this week too. I ordered it online because I have one pair that I like no panty lines makes you feel comfortable. Like I want to think about my underwear while I'm doing what I'm doing. I somebody's underwear. You can't think past them you lay down now you could feel them all day you're going shopping you like there's the underwear. You're gonna talk to people

all over the buyer casual.

09:28

I bought some really nice underwear so now I'll wear underwear because remember what did you always saying I go whatever the what is it called? You go commando. Right? But now that I have underwear I do wear underwear. Why did you buy that? What brand? I don't know the brand but it's really kind of Dubai.

Are you like a brief guy you a boxer guy like

09:47

short boxers. And some briefs. Okay, but a lot of girls apparently think briefs are gross on men.

Was it a speedo brief like what is it? Well, it's

09:57

like a regular underpants brief I don't know Well, I'm not a student of I don't have a PhD and underpants.

I'm gonna give you one word of advice. Just woman to guy. Yeah. Good. Do not Yeah, go to the town pool. Yeah. In anything that looks like those underwear. You're just talking about oh, yeah, no, I

10:13

know they're down to my knees. Yeah, whatever. You

do not wear a Speedo. Well, not only

10:18

that, right? People, so, so I had to go. I'm like, out of workout clothes right now that I was I joined the lifetime gym, you get that for free. When you're all through AARP. It's awesome. Right? If you get the supplement, right. So I'm like Jesus, you know, I'm working out a lot. You know, and I, when I'm done, I get a little concerning, because

the hell does that mean? It

10:44

means like, you know, a little grossed out. I don't want to wear the same thing again, because I was in a public place. And I'm like, all over the machines and right? Germs, guns inane, right? So that, right, so I throw it down to the basement, you know, that kind of thing. And I'm like, you know, I gotta go get some workout clothes. I can't move this. So I go to the thing, and I get the workout clothes. And you're talking about the dressing room. Yeah. So this dressing room was a sports shop and it's got all the boxes, you know, of all their stuff. And it's like, this is like, you feel like you're in you know, like a storage room changing. Do you want to try these on? And I'm like, no, no, you better try him I was in. Well, let me tell you something. I looked at myself. And I went, you got

the experience. You gotta be kidding me. fucking kidding me. Right. Oh, you know the worst part. The worst part, the minute you realize how fat you are all you are is hungry. I'm checking out I buy shoes instead this instead on the way on the way out of the bag. I'm starting to diet right the second right after these pretzels.

11:56

No, I'm the opposite. That's it. That's it. I'm not eating. But that's the worst thing you could do.

And you're well, I do both you do? I'm never eating again.

12:06

That's the worst thing you could do for yourself. I learned that. And if you want to increase your metabolism, you eat small meals and

Charlie we know.

I think what they should do to dressing rooms just to make it an easier experience is have a voice come out of mirror and say you know what? You're a good person.

What about the dressing? So funny.

Don't be scale. Don't be so hard on yourself. Immediately working out for you today but soon. Some other day in the future. Actually take your time. Come back when you're ready. Yeah, come

12:39

back when you're ready. It's no big deal. Terrible. All right, everyone. Thank you so much for listening to us.

Good luck in that dressing room. You're not alone in there. Yeah. We're with ya.

12:52

Feel Yeah. So. Alright, everybody. Thank you so much. We'll see you later. See you

later. Bye.