Late Night Infomercials

Late Night Infomercials

SUMMARY KEYWORDS

whiskey, sleep, night, crepe erase, hear, thoughts, grandmother, people, buy, tv, infomercial, wake, liquor, called, asleep, ear, remedies, improv, comedy, storytelling, Amazon, white noise, home remedies, meditation

SPEAKERS

Luz Michelle, Debbie Nigro, Charlie Ponger

I don't have so much because I start coughing again. There's stuff going around out there.

Yeah, allergies to tiny.

It's called RSV. There's COVID All this like, oh, we gotta triple damage. We got everything. Nobody knows what the hell they've got accepted. Yeah. They just comes and then you got to deal with like this.

Yeah, your eyes are watering

right now. You got like snot ideas, things like that.

Well, she was laughing her butt off. Oh my god.

I'm laughing because I said, Charlie, I don't know you got any like bourbon or you have any whiskey. My grandmother used to give me whiskey when I was young, which is so inappropriate. They've taken her a long time ago. But um, the old school remedies. Yeah. included a lot of liquor. Or we all agree. Yeah. All right. So let me I'll tell you my grandmother's recipe. And then you tell me what your grandma mother, whoever gave you Right? Like we're big on honey, lemon and whiskey. And I think back. We were all little kids and my grandma was up there pouring whiskey in a pan, lemon and honey heating it up and giving us spoons of whiskey and lemon which is, which is so

not cool. explains a lot

about you. So I thought that was the answer to everything honey, lemon and whiskey.

Right. And then it is a spoonful

of sugar. And my grandmother used whiskey in my ears.

She poured the friggin thing in your ear. That's Charlie Charlie. Yeah, Charlie. Charlie

I would hear I would hear going my ear to

show you did your grandmother read English early not

at all. She was off the boat.

She got the wrong piece. Like telephone.

Callers

so yeah, because I used to have as a little kid I had really bad earaches Sure. And there was no remedy I guess for it. So 90 or so would pour whiskey and I would hear it go in my ear.

man she was there was a sock thing that went on whenever we were younger, fill the sock with salt and put it in the mic and heated up and you'd put your head on the side. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. philosophische Salt and heat the sock and Oh, really? What do you have loose?

So we have raisins in the whiskey. Oh, so they would sit for a couple of months and if you had a toothache that was the way right Raisin in the West because it never numbs and it pulls out the bacteria. Oh, really? Why she did whiskey in here? Yeah,

I guess so. Was whiskey on the gums to write on your present and you wonder why we're fucked up.

First time I went to buy an aerosol I'm like, What? No liquor. Anyway, cheers. Cheers. Me a little something. Something else?

Oh my gosh. So

many remedies out there.

What about Vicks Vapor Rub? You know we were put every

everything I put it on everything. Yeah, we're not supposed to. I do that's for an ear infection. You put that on the whole of the ear. What

about the diaper on the chest? Your grandmother, your grandmother your mother would put Vicks Vapor Rub on your right diaper over it. Right and then the Vicks Vapor Rub thing on the floor. And then that thing had Vicks Vapor Rub on it your whole bedroom smelled like

Steam showers with the VIX. Yeah, you

know, very used to powder my Petunia. Adam, birth practically no opportunity rest of my life. I thought that's how it went. And I'm surprised the liquor industry did not get involved in the pharmaceutical industry in the medicinal use. Yeah, like there would be a great aisle and CVS if it was like loaded supplements. Or spiked

cold medicine. I gave you a bunch of

vodka Would you give me say you shove and stuff

like that? Are you taking thing take vitamin C? Juice?

Try some liposomal vitamin C. Orange stuff in like a big shovel of a spoon. And he goes here take this I'm like, Okay,

I got this all from Dr. Pete. Dr. Pete's 91 years old. You'd never know what he looks like. He's about 65

I just saw him do a cartwheel by see these people who are in great shape the rest it like they take it to the limit. Yeah, they do things on a regular basis, right. I'm like myself, who all go pull forward and like do it all and I'm like, hurt something. I gotta wait two weeks because that's what got to get back. That's getting back. This one blew out every day is another body part. Oh, I want to get this true.

I turn in my car yesterday. My shoulder popped right.

Oh my god.

you sneeze that's it. You lost it back low back and reload brakes to nutans Not good. I

know. We're hanging in. We're hanging me on the truck and you gotta meditate if you just met a man have to

tell me about that. I gotta try it. Candidate.

It's good. It's good. I did a meditation app last night on Netflix. How'd that go? It was good. You know, I did one on how to fall in love with your life again. And I'll stick around to this. That's cool.

I would love that.

I lasted a couple four minutes, and I got very nauseous. It was a lot of words coming at me. There was a lot of things I was supposed to visualize. And it was very fast creation. Oh, and the missile, I opened my eyes and look at my husband and he's like, all in it. So I'm just like, looking at him. Like, I'm like, Are you feeling? And he's like, yeah, he's like, just gotta quiet your mind. I'm like, how am I going to quiet my mind? This guy is saying 75 things that I have to do with my mind. I'm not falling in love with life. I am no.

Did your husband hold his fingers in his thumb together and have it all? All in? What's his name again? Harris.

Harrison. I don't want to say anything. But I think I say it nicer than you. How are you darling?

I think lose wins the Harrison. What's

her husband

been saying for decades.

You know, doing something with a partner in your life to calm down or or you know, whatever is on YouTube. It's a very nice thing to do coordinate your interests, right. I mean, it's nice that he meditated with you. Me on the other hand, I don't watch any TV right until I I fall asleep at night and that's how I fall asleep. I have two speeds go and tipo

what a surprise right Luz.

very relatable.

They mess with you at night. If you leave the TV on, they stick infomercials on to get in your brain so that you wake up like I gotta buy draperies middle joking, but not joking. Dave would come in the bedroom he'd see me passed out and he'd see the infomercial for crepe erase. Because they kept following me there. They were dogging me with crepe. Erase what is it? Oh, it's stuff that you put on your skin so you don't look old? Or creepy or creped crepey skin or skin? Cream gray gray paper? Oh Crazy Crepe paper? Yeah, yeah, it's not attractive. So people's skin as time goes on gets creepy and this is a great look as cream eraser. So I'm not tuning into crepe erase Yes, I have watched the infomercial God bless everybody who's admitted it but and I'm intrigued with it but like I maybe saw it once or twice. He thinks I'm addicted to watching the infomercial because every time he came into TVO he bought me for like my birthday. I know you don't want to admit it. You since you're watching this infomercial every single night I bought your crepe erase but these people with a nighttime TV Yeah, they get involved with making us rest they're selling us stuff while we're sleeping all the

things we need we need oh my god

they do do you know I woke up the other day I go I gotta have that Afghan throw the Afghan throw whatever didn't know was talking about I go I just felt an Afghan throw coming on. I must have watched the shopping 15 hours straight.

Well that's like when our phones if you say something right like I want to get pink sneakers. Next thing you know all your social media platform. It's an F the animal pink sneakers. I noticed you get sucked in and you're like yeah, you know what I did say that early. But her coinkidink

it's kind of weird, right? Like because if you're talking to someone on the phone, and then all of a sudden you ask for like

Amazon when we use it on Amazon. Next, you're getting ads on your Google and

turn that off. If you ever knew where to find the right? I'm subscribed to like, you know, options. Like you go okay, I'll do a one month trial and if I don't like it, I'll cancel. You can never cancel because you could never find where you signed up. Yeah, never

ever lose double secret.

And even if you unsubscribe I've learned it gets sent to a whole bunch of other people now you get emails from them. Oh, those be those people? Yes, yeah.

Do you have to have the TV on at night to go to sleep?

What depends on how tired I mean. My mind goes so fast all day long. Yeah, that

you think the audience knows that? I think

no, I have a signature question. I asked how does your head work inside like what goes on in there? Do some people hear music all day long? Some people Oh, you know screenwriting. I am the one who Disney came to to look inside my friggin brain to get the idea for the rides for Disney. Because that's your brain. They like Oh, this one's interesting. Oh, wait, let's just do it. I'm here. Oh, wait, we can have a whole two whole amusement park of ideas and thoughts. And it's a pain in my ass to tell you the truth or to gift and a curse.

Yeah, it's a gift and a curse. Word these one liners come from

I pull them out of my backside. Anyone know what they're like? They just go and buy like a common one liner.

So do you have to have the TV on the go? asleep.

I don't have to, but I like to look at some other thoughts besides my oh yeah, I get like stun guns my own thoughts. Wow Yeah, so then they fall asleep I need to be you

on your RT problems

what do you Luz? You have to have the TV on at night to go to sleep.

Now I use a sound machine a sound machine. Yeah, we don't have a TV in the room. Oh, chose to have a TV in the room. I know me. I would get some bedroom watching. That's why it's not good for me mentally because I'll get sucked in. I love TV.

I don't really like it. Really? Yeah. I love sounds. You have a calm? Yeah,

I'm just gonna hear white noise. It's called pure white noise. Yeah, well, it can. I've learned I've been doing it for a long time. For me. It controls my thoughts at night. So before I fall asleep, I don't have racing thoughts because all I hear is the white noise. And if I wake up in a millon night, it puts me right back to sleep.

Let me ask you, this does your husband

God, what?

Is he just like you as well? No. Okay. What

do you want to hear the fucking birds he wants to hear the wind blowing? Can

you have two sides because this

kid was the thing that kids have sound machines. I like this. So he's in the tunnel, because he gets it from this side from the cannon and he gets it for me. It's like I feel like I sleep in an airport every night. I don't even like it. Sleep. deeping deep. What is it called deep sleeping? And he's like, no, no,

he wants to hear. He wants to hear the birds and the frogs and like me. He loves

pure silence. Yeah, me too.

How about you, Deb?

I love silence while I'm during the day when I'm thinking everything is so loud in my head. I can't be distracted by other sounds because I'm controlling. There's all this stuff going on. The Laughing is important to my bouffant. Why do you think I had high hair my whole life? He needed it. It was just thoughts were trying to push. So at night, I don't want to have those so that the sound blocks the other things but

so both you guys let's see if I've got this both you guys have troubled turning off your thoughts before you go to sleep or was trying to go to sleep that kind of it's

really really solid. You know, the

average person has 60,000 thoughts a day. Is it Yeah, me and Louise have like 100 points

1.2 million.

Let me ask you this is it does Dave Debbie does Dave have trouble sleeping? No. Do you think this is a guy girl thing maybe a little bit like different string guy brings in girls because

he needs the television on the whole time sports sports this that he he gets he gets to sleep by playing loud to television. Oh, if you're quiet, he'll probably wake up. Oh, so we can't deal so we have a problem.

I guess I'm lucky.

Yeah. What's your story?

I turn off the lights. And I go to bed and I go to sleep. And then I wake up eight hours later.

Wow. That's that's a man was not a lot going on.

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Yeah, you all right, everyone. Thank you so much and